Well, today marks my last full day home. It's hard for me to realize tonight's my last night in my bed. Home is familiar to me, it's something I have come acustom to and never even thought about what it will be like not coming home after school putting my books down, getting a snack and relaxing. It will be so different when I'm out of this "pattern". It's not a good or a bad thing. I think change is good for me. I will be able to keep open minded and go with the flow of how other people live instead of being so stuck into my own little world. There are so many variations of how people are raised, or live and its the unknown of how I will down in Panama. I am so happy that I finally have a host family. It is good to know that I am in a stable situation and am not arriving in at least a complete strangers home, even though it will be so foreign to me. I think me being scared and anxious is normal. Anything requiring a different mindset is going to make anyone question what the helk they are doing!! Sometimes I tell myself I am crazy for going through with this, and I'm sure that will be going through my head while traveling but I hope that once I am settled, and are focused on learning the language and their culture, that what I am doing is not crazy. It's something that not everyone has the opportunity to do, and for me to be brave enough and trust these people, is something not every 16 year old can do. I remember thinking only 6 more months till I leave, and now its only one more day. It's all so quick and packing my suitcase, I realize what I am about to embark on. I realize that I am going to miss everything about my home, my friends, and what I have grown up around. I'm going to miss coming down in the morning to play piano, and miss having sleepovers with my friends, and cheering at football games. There's no doubt about that, but I think that this experience will benefit me greatly and I believe that I can do it. I hope that I am in a safe area and that people are friendly with me, because it would be so cool to have a group of friends who I can hangout with during weekends while im there. People who I can talk with after I leave, and go back and visit one day. I want to feel like a part of someone else's family and learn how they live day to day. I want to be fluent in Spanish, I want to learn things that other people don't even think about, not to say I did, but to have that experience to look back on and develop skills I can use for my lifetime. Something tells me I am going to have the time of my life! I hope this is true! I hope that I can teach my little sisters and family and friends things about my culture and help them with English too. I want to leave knowing that I did something other than only benefit myself. Well, one more day and my journey will start. I think I may be crazy!